Christmas Past, Present, and Future

I love Facebook’s Memories feature. Each day, I get a sense of what life was like a year ago, two years ago, three years ago—thirteen years ago. The Facebook memory of this day last year is bittersweet and reminded me of how different Christmas will be for us this year. My father (89 at the time) and I traveled to New Jersey to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my cousin and partner. My cousin and I are Christmas fanatics. Multiple trees, greens, wreaths, as many family members together as possible, good food, and good drink. Dad and I were excited. So, the night before our trip, Dad was his usual in-charge self:

Dad: Here’s the plan. 

Me: I’m ready. 

Dad: Today, we pick up the last few things—we hit Sam’s first, stop anywhere you need to stop, then I’ll gas up the car. Then you can do what you need to do. We’ll load the car tonight. We’ll have an early night, so we’re all rested. We leave at O-nine hundred. We’ll have breakfast or lunch on the way. Got that? 

Me: Got it. 

Dad: You seem very relaxed. 

Me: It’s Christmas. Happens once a year. Don’t get used to it. 

Dad insisted on driving the whole way (as usual). We arrived safely with only one or two stops on the New Jersey Turnpike. I only got us lost once. I blamed Google Maps. Dad and everyone else blamed me for entering the wrong address in Google Maps. We made it and had a wonderful time.

This year will be very different. No children, no grandchildren, no trip to New Jersey. Still, I am grateful. We have memories. We’ll connect—as most of the world will—via Zoom, Facetime, or other virtual meeting apps.

It’s easy to slip into feeling sorry for ourselves about Christmas 2020, but I remember sad Christmases in the past. The years my father was in Korea and Vietnam. My first Christmas as a single mother. The first Christmas after my mother died.

As a military family, we were always so far away that we never spent Christmas with our own relatives. Instead, we celebrated with members of whatever community we were part of at the time.  And this year, I plan to spend the day reflecting on how lucky we are.

We can connect virtually. Our family is safe, healthy, and all accounted for, unlike many others. I choose to believe we will make up for the distance we feel now next holiday season.  

How has this holiday season been different for you? How have you been dealing with it?